The Year in Review (FINALLY!)

To any one still reading: I'm back! Sorry it's been so long, but Roger picked up my slack - thanks, Roger. After what I described in my last posting, I needed a break. And actually, Roger and I just came back from a weekend away from it all (including the kids). We spent a very nice weekend in Baie-Saint-Paul (on the north shore of the St. Laurence River, upriver from Quebec City) and went skiing at Le Massif. Having not skied in essentially three years, my fingers are pretty much the only part of me still functioning without pain, but it was absolutely beautiful, and much as we love our children dearly, we needed the break. So here I am, mentally if not physically refreshed.

I promised some moons ago a year in review post, so let's see what I remember. Even now, thinking back to what happened to Benjamin starting in May is like trying to remember a dream where you just get snippets and impressions with a few crystal clear memories. Thankfully we have this blog and as well as photos and video to document Benjamin's journey. But we also had a life outside the hospital, and that's what I want to remember and remind people of today.

In late spring, my parents took a dream vacation cruising the Caribbean and crossing the Atlantic into the Mediterranean Sea before traipsing through Italy, Germany and England visiting friends and relatives. In May, Roger and I celebrated out 5th wedding anniversary. In June Emily started taking swimming lessons alone without a parent. She also started riding her first bike with training wheels, and honing her soccer skills with a little baby net in the back yard (Daddy and Uncle Dan made sure she had the post-goal victory celebration down pat).

Over the summer we were kitchenless for two months as our kitchen from hell was replaced with our dream kitchen. Emily attended several birthday parties, whacking valiantly but fruitlessly at pinatas at each one (quite the sight, I am told). She was also introduced to face painting and those huge inflated obstacle course/slide thingies at the D.D.O. Family Fun Day. The fun continued at the Shriner's Circus, again Emily's first. The summer was also full of the usual barbecues and picnics, happily attended by whichever family members could make it.

Fall brought more firsts: Emily started pre-school three mornings a week (she loves it) and her first gym class without Mommy. Uncle Dan and Aunt Courtney took Emily to see Nemo in Ice, much to her delight - even if the whale was just a bit scary. Octoberfest was followed by a huge Halloween haul in Blainville by a little lion and her dear friend Batman. The seasons changed yet again and more fun was had at the St. Nikolaus Christmas party, the Westpark Pre-School Breakfast with Santa and the Leucan Christmas party. We also managed to have a very nice family Christmas.

All this to say that even though Benjamin, and by extension usually either Roger or I, was stuck in the hospital, we still found ways to have fun outside the hospital. Of course it helped that everything was going smoothly on 8D. Every day we were there I said to myself: "Thank God Benjamin just has AML!" (And if you would have told me six months ago that this would become my mantra, I would have snorted so hard that coffee would have come out my nose). Compared to many families on the floor, our time there was an absolute breeze. Yes, there were bumps in the road, but at the end of the day we walked out of this hospital for good with our boy alive and well.

One of the psychologists here asked us how we kept such a positive attitude. Part of the answer is that it's easy to be positive when you never get any bad news. I mean even the diagnosis was a relief rather than a shock. Maybe I'm just a silver lining kind of person, but it seems to me to be easier to get through the days focusing on the good rather than the bad, what ever your situation is. It would be too depressing otherwise, and I don't do depressing very well. Besides, we took our cues from Benjamin, and he was such a little trooper. He really only complained when something was very wrong - there was no crying wolf with him.

So, as you can see, we actually had a pretty decent 2007, all things considered. It certainly wasn't ideal, but the worst parts were really the first admittance in June and the days before the diagnosis. We joke that Benjamin's treatment can be summed up as follows: two fevers and a stupid Broviac. Even Dr. Mitchell said that treatment of AML doesn't get any faster or better than Benjamin's. But don't get me wrong - I'm still happy to see 2007 gone, and don't need another year like that any time soon. I'm just saying that it could have been much, much, much worse.

My 2 Cents!

I guess everyone was expecting Micaela to write another beautiful blog on how the Skira clan is getting along these days. Her thoughts combined with the colourful use of the English language made her blog entries well worth reading, as well as giving everyone much food for thought! Well, this time it’s a little different - a WHOLE lot different! Dad will be making his first blog entry and I suspect it will probably be the last. I think there were a couple of reasons why I never posted a blog: 1) Micaela does such a good job so why I should I screw things up! 2) The blog site was and still is her method of therapy and 3) She was the one who spent the most time on 8D during Ben’s 6 month stay. She was the person who could best describe what life is like in the Haematology/Oncology unit of a children’s hospital. Since we are no longer staying at the Children’s, I decided that this would be a perfect time to make my first blog entry.
First, a few words on the person responsible for keeping this blog up to date – Micaela. I sure everyone realized how strong Micaela was through this time but I wanted to show everybody how tough she really is. When we first found out Ben was diagnosed with AML, I broke down. I couldn’t believe this was happening to Ben. My wife on the other hand kept it together and was already prepared to move on to the next step. When I asked Micaela how come she didn’t break down she replied “I carried Ben for 9 months and I gave birth to this child. He’s not going ANYWHERE!” I certainly wasn’t going to question her conviction. She was totally convinced from the beginning that everything was going to work out well. That’s been Micaela’s MO throughout this whole ordeal – unflappable confidence and 100% optimism that Ben will beat this terrible disease. I’m privileged and forever grateful to have a wife like Micaela. Now most of my friends would argue what did Micaela do to deserve a husband like me, but I guess we’ll keep that discussion for another day!
Between Emily, Micaela and myself, Emily had the toughest time dealing with Ben’s stay at the hospital. One moment we are all together having a great time and the next moment our lives are turned upside down and all our focus is on Benjamin. Emily went from playing with Benjamin and Mommy all day long to being shipped from one grandparent’s home to another and not able to see Mommy, Daddy and Ben all together. Even worse, as Benjamin began his road to recovery, she couldn’t understand why we were still in the hospital when he looked very healthy. You can’t explain to a 3-year old neutraphils, low CBC counts, leukemia etc. As much as we tried to explain what was going on with Ben (“his blood is sick and he has to stay here so the doctors can fix it”), she couldn’t understand it. However, 6 months flew by pretty quickly and at the end she did pretty well. Now she’s extremely happy that everyone is at home together. She doesn’t like it when Ben pulls her hair or pokes her bellybutton or grabs at her.
And now we get to the man of the hour, Benjamin. It’s been a month since he’s been home and he is doing great. On January 22nd Ben had a bone marrow aspirate and lumbar puncture to make sure he had no cancer cells. Two days later the doctor told us everything looks clean. He’s a healthy boy!
At home, Benjamin is active, energetic, loves to play with Emily, goes up and down the stairs at lightning speed, drinks well, eats healthy, eats a lot (like his old man!) and is extremely busy. On the flip side, Benjamin doesn’t listen, makes a mess of everything, makes a mess when he eats, cries when he doesn’t get his way, destroys everything in his path, tries to kill himself every chance he gets and he has both mom and dad completely exhausted by the end of the day. You know what: We wouldn’t want it any other way!
Happy Valentine Day’s everyone!