If We Took a Holiday...

No, we haven't dropped off the face of the earth. Benjamin was released from the hospital on Labor Day Monday, and only has to return for his bone marrow aspirate, spinal tap & next course of chemo on September 11th. So we've been on holiday this week. Benjamin has had the run of the house, and is truly enjoying his freedom. He's also eating non-stop whatever edible comes within his reach, except bananas. One bite and his eyebrows shot up and his face screwed up like he'd bitten into a lemon - classic baby what-the-heck-was-that? face.

It took a couple of nights for Benjamin to get used to sleeping in his crib, but now he goes down for naps no problem. I just hope we can carry that habit back to the hospital. The difference is that here he's only in his crib to sleep, but in the hospital he's in his crib much more often, especially when he's confined to his room and I have to step out.

Benjamin's next course of treatment is really going to take it's toll on all of us, I think. This course is actually called "intensification", and is 5 days of chemo (3 different drugs). 24 hours a day. Do the math, that's 120 straight hours of chemo. Just the thought of it, and of the side effects which will certainly follow, sends shivers down my spine. The first two courses were walks in the park compared to what is coming up. It breaks my heart knowing that our little guy, who is just unstoppable and the picture of perfect health right now, will be deliberately brought to the brink, and be made absolutely miserable in the process. But that's the only way to make sure that the cancer is permanently eradicated, and I know he'll bounce back eventually.

We're trying not to think about the coming week too much, but to enjoy this precious time together with our little family all together. We only hope that Benjamin's stair climbing escapades don't send us to the ER for reasons other than leukemia. (He's getting the hang of going up the stairs, but when he's had enough or wants to go down he just sits down with his bum hanging off the step and pushes off with his feet against the riser.) What I've really noticed is that Emily finally has some sort of sisterly feelings towards Benjamin. Before, except when she was singing her songs to him, she just tolerated him until he invaded her personal space. She is definitely more patient with him, although it's still far from perfect (we caught her "pushing" him away from her with her foot today). I think Emily's realizing that Benjamin adores her, and mimics her as much as he can. When she laughs, do does he. When she raises her arms above her head or claps, so does he. So maybe she's just on a power trip, but she will spontaneously hug him or kiss him now. These snippets of true affection give me hope that a real caring relationship between siblings might one day develop. In the meantime, I should go and enjoy my holiday while it lasts.